"Hey Elaine, have you eaten lunch yet??"

I shake my head in the negative and Kevin's eyes get round.

"Free pizza at Tatum right now!"

He has me at free pizza. I bound up, call a "Be right back, Bret!" to my supervisor and I'm out the door.

As I sit here with a new plate of (free!!) pizza (two slices of pepperoni), one cookie, and one can of coke, it occurs to me that food often tastes better when it's free.

As a former starving college student, and a current starving masters student, I figured that I have some wisdom to impart on those of you who are soon to experience the wonders of your college years.

And so, here is my advice to you in hopes that you will not starve as I did.

1). Be social during the first week of classes. College clubs, groups, and church organizations will ply you to join their groups by luring you in with free food. Be strong in your convictions, and have no shame. Go in, eat their food, leave.

2). You must love pizza. Sorry. If you don't, I assure you that you will miss out on many free food opportunities.

3). Never get a half-size option at a restaurant. This is a plot by restaurants to cheat you. It's half the size for almost the same price. What's better is to get the full-size and then save the leftovers later. That way you're paying more, but you're also paying for more than one meal.

4). Happy hours at restaurants. Find them out, utilize them. Be careful. Some restaurants require you to buy a ridiculously priced drink in order to get happy hour prices...and then it comes out to the same price. Not cool.

5). Push yourself to the limit. Is it expired? If you're not sure, it's okay. ...Maybe. (I hold no responsibility for anyone rolling around on the couch because of eating some suspicious food. Please use your judgment in this area). Similarly, there is nothing worse than food that goes in the trash just because you dropped it. Five second rule applies in all solid food situations. Don't be wasteful.

6). Concerts/gallery openings/parties = food at the reception. It doesn't matter if you didn't go to the recital. Keep out of the way of the well-dressed personage that is putting on the reception (who will usually be preoccupied by well-wishers and congratulatory crowds anyway) and you're good to go.

7). Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. You want to buy everything.

8). Get a roommate that works in a food convenience/cafe store. Or work in one yourself. Restaurant work/cafe work = free food at the end of the day.

Please take all advice with a grain of salt. I hold no responsibility for future embarrassing/compromising/dangerous situations. :)